As some of you reading this already know, I have had back problems for the past twelve years.  I have had surgery on my back on two different occasions on three levels of my lower back.  As some of you also already know, I am having back problems again.

My real serious back problems began when I was only twenty four years old. I used to work for a heavy duty truck parts (18 wheelers etc) supplier  and injured myself lifting very heavy parts in a situation that did not allow for proper body mechanics.I was unable to walk any distance at all and the pain was intense.  After numerous failed therapies, back surgery.  After the surgery I felt like a brand new man, but was warned that I would most likely need surgery again.

Fast forward to six years later: I was once again unable to walk any distance all and then one day I stepped out of the shower and fell down and was unable to get back up,  due to the severity of the pain.  Surgery was scheduled with some haste and once again I felt like  a new man. I was allowed back to work fairly quickly, because then I had a management job and spent a large amount of time behind a desk.

I left my management position about six months after the surgery and was once again in the trenches pulling, wrestling, and physically manipulating patients and medical equipment. Not a very smart move for a guy that has had multiple surgeries on multiple levels of his spine. The problems is I enjoy what I do and I am damn good at it, especially trauma situation, what a rush. Alas, not so good for the spine.

So here we are today, six years since my last surgery, with numbness  half way down my right calf all the way through my foot.  I am used to a little flair up now and again, such is the life of someone who has destroyed their spine. The first clue that this was no ordinary flare up came on a Sunday, as I was in a store looking at a shirt. All of a sudden sever pain began and I was unable to support my weight on my right leg.  I managed to survive without an ER visit, but was in my Dr.’s office the very next day, begging for relief.

I have had since had a MRI, results not so promising,  an EMG ( a nerve and muscle conduction test), results pending, and a pain management injection, which in some ways seems to have caused more pain.  I go back to the specialist on Wednesday evening, to find the results of my EMG and see what he thinks my best of course action is.

This is the beginning of my third week of no work. At least I had some vacation time that covered me up till now,  and  I have disability insurance that will provide a whole 60% of my wages, of which neither includes the shift differential bonus for working the night shift.

It feels like insult to injury that I can’t accomplish any of the hundreds of tasks, that up till now I had no time to do.  The simple act of unloading the dishwasher is a tiring and painful tasks.  I save the bulk of my energy for Max, while Tabitha is at work .  I am usually a pretty self sufficient and independent person, now I am back to relying on others in a way that I do not enjoy.

I do not write this for any sympathies, I write it for me. I write it to help prepare myself for the answers I am going to get on Wednesday. I keep hoping otherwise,  and denying the facts that I already know.

Now that you read this, you know about my wretched spine.

Steve AKA FatherNoRest